That’s how I feel today. My boyfriend gave me the greatest pep talk last night. He told me that I can’t just sit around and feel sad all the time – I have to take action to fix the things I’m sad about. It was truly inspirational. His words seemed so simple, and yet it’s […]

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I’m in pain. I feel like I have destroyed my life. And it’s put me in a dark place. I’ve been researching the toxicity levels of my various medications to determine if I have enough to kill myself. Turns out I probably don’t. The only thing stopping me from going out and getting something that […]

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I Fucked Up

I fucked up big time. I got myself into a dangerous situation and I relapsed. Instead of “just” relapsing with alcohol, I relapsed with my drug of choice. That’s a horrible horrible thing. I feel like the scum of the earth. I pulled a friend into an uncomfortable, dangerous situation just because I was on […]

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Mother Issues

My Mom came to visit me – or check up on me – again. Last time it didn’t go so well. We fought and I was closed off and she accused me of doing drugs again. This time I resolved to make the visit better. Instead of fighting the love and support she is trying […]

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My Relationship with my Sponsor

I don’t have the best of relationships with my sponsor – and it’s completely my fault. I don’t make the effort to reach out and make a real connection with her. I have this amazing resource – this wonderful woman who has pledged to help me in my recovery – and I am not taking […]

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I’m Miserable

I am absolutely miserable. I’m cripplingly sad, I’m despondently lonely. I need to change the way I feel but I no longer have my vices. It’s times like these when I feel like I might cave – give into the temptation. But I don’t. I stay strong and don’t use. No matter what. Except when […]

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